In his Words... Surrender

I've recently had the pleasure of spending time with a very sweet and intelligent boy that goes by the username, gorget.  I've asked him to share his thoughts on surrendering.


"Surrendering control, from my humble perspective, is essentially a contract between the two parties.


For the male, it is an acknowledgement that the woman is in the best position to make decisions for them both, given her higher emotional intelligence, greater empathy and more insightful social perception. She has a more wholesome blend of skills to manage the health of the relationship, free as she is from the selfish, short term thoughts that a man can suffer from as and when he thinks with his cock.


In submitting, the man is relieved of the burden of control, and in knowing that the woman's decisions are for the benefit of both it is a pleasure to obey. The arrangement builds trust and encourages communication, diminishing the chances of a lack of either wrecking the relationship as so many others fall prey to. The man will find an ever increasing respect and bond with the woman as she accepts him as a submissive, and the woman will be rewarded with increasing joy as the mutual happiness bears fruit and all barriers to intimacy are stripped away.


So, if the male and female have the courage together to defy the expectations of society in who should lead the relationship they open themselves up to the possibility of something so much greater than can otherwise be achieved. "


[Edit: Sadly it was not meant to be. Where there's one there ought to be more, yes?]

The Types of Guys on BDSM Sites

I've been noticing some "types" of men that frequent bdsm/femdom sites and I've come up with some names for them.  I think this is fairly straight forward in concept so let's get started:

Broken: This wounded creature has had some trauma in his background whether it be child abuse or the witnessing of a parent being abused and has no idea what a normal relationship should look like.  He's not necessarily easy to spot because if he's got a normal job he's learned at least how to hide all this stuff inside.  He's turned to bdsm to deal with his problems because for some reason he feels he needs to be punished for something or that he's somehow inherently bad.  Well, not dealing with all that crap going on inside has made him twisted and potentially abusive.  Watch out: toxic!

Horny:  This guy is willing to try anything that will get him laid.  He may not be a bad person but he's certainly not looking for a long term relationship.  He wants wham bam thank you ma'am.  Perhaps he may think that kink will get him the EZ-Pass to cheap hookups with no investment of time and money.  He's thinking this is a step up from hooker and less expensive.

Fapper:  This one is only on the site to get enough conversation or profiles in to wank.  He's the notorious "time waster" that is probably married and is looking for something other than regular pr0n to wank to.  He wants to talk about kink right away and that's how you can usually spot him.  He doesn't care what you do or what your name is.  He wants to get right to words that he can pound his pud to.

Spammer:  This guy can't get anyone's attention so he spams every single domme on online in the hopes of getting a reply.  He's also probably a Fapper.

Troll:  This guy is on the site to attack people.  He gets his kicks by verbally attacking random people he disagrees with and hoping he can start a fight.  He revels in causing aggravation.  You see this type all over the Internet.   If it weren't collarme it would be digg or some other site.  I seriously doubt he discriminates.  He just wants a place to vent misplaced rage.  He also comes in "I just gotta tell you something" flavor and then blocks you or "User profile is hidden" flavor.  Advice: don't feed the trolls by replying.  It only encourages them.

No Show:  We've all done it once.  Gotten stood up by some a-hole that either doesn't have a balls or really just a Fapper that was willing to promise the moon to get fap material.  I'm right there with ya.  I went to a restaurant and waited and waited and waited... and finally ordered dinner for one.  There's no real way to prevent this only to weed them out as soon as possible before you get hurt.

Healthy Kinkster:  He may be into kink but it doesn't rule his life.  He's on the site to find love with a bit of adventure.  He just doesn't want to be tied down with the virginal, submissive, vanilla girl that thinks sex toys are gross.  He's got a life, that he's more than likely dominant in, and is otherwise normal and functional.  Kink for him is more about keeping the sex life spicy than a lifestyle choice.  Only problem with this guy is that he only wants to be sub in the bedroom.

True Submissive:  He's gentle soul.  He's probably been given a really hard time in life for not conforming to the status quo or faked it long enough and is ready to be himself.  He looks at women with awe not predatory lust.  He wants to care for his partner like the Goddess she is.  He marvels at her strength and beauty.  He truly is able to love selflessly.  He wants to be second in command not just in the bedroom but in the relationship.  (WHERE ARE YOU!?!)

Any suggestions for more types?