If there are any ladies reading this, I'm sure I will get a collective "amen" to this one...
I can't count how many emails, dating site messages, et cetera I've gotten since, I dunno, 2004-ish that sounded like a madlibs job application/cover letter:
"I really liked your profile/blog. You sound like a _________ person.
I have been looking for a woman exemplifies _________, _________, and _________. I also enjoy _______, ________, and _______. Perhaps we could meet sometime at ________ over a glass/cup of _____."
If this is how you go about online dating it's really no wonder why you haven't been successful. If you have been casting the wide proverbial net to random attractive women on the internets then you deserve to fail.
Finding a life partner is not like a database query. You don't enter variables and expect to have connection with someone. Human chemistry is something you can neither predict nor force. It's not a mathematical equation.
So what's the problem with diversifying, you ask? (Nothing if you are buying stocks.) I shows you aren't really interested in any of the women you have contacted. And we know that. We can tell from the tone of the email. It sounds like a form letter. You might as well put "Dear Sir or Madam" or "To Whom It May Concern" cuz it sure sounds like that already.
If you like something I've written here on my blog and you would like to approach me, how about writing to me and telling me just that? Tell me what you liked and why. Tell me why you dis/agree and what you think about the same subject. Then move into something more personal. It at least shows me that you are actually reading what I write.
Do not, however, assume that you know anyone simply by their writings. Filling in gaps with your own wishful thinking will only make for a very distorted picture. I, for example, am honestly not as angry as I appear in many of my posts. This is a venting space for my grievances, often at specific individuals.
Please take the time to answer a few questions in a very short survey I've created. It should take you all of 5 minutes max. [edit: http://www.zoomerang.com/Survey/WEB22D44C3WRD4] Just click the link provided.
I've tried to complete your survey but am not a member of survey monkey and it does not allow me in. Sorry. If you can post your survey in a different manner, I would be happy to participate.
ReplyDeleteSorry about that collette. I didn't realize you had to register to participate. I'll look for another place to host the survey. Thanks for letting me know!!
ReplyDeleteYou say that it is not "a mathematical equation."
ReplyDeleteMay be true --- but isn't it also a matter of "processing" huge numbers of people until you find the right one?
Yes and no, how many guys on Collarme end up in vanilla relationship while trying to find the perfect domme? I bet lots. Why? If they are so keen on those variables then how could it happen? Because attraction is not a list of variables. It would be lovely if we could just compare lifestyle interests and that would equal a relationship but it just doesn't work that way.
ReplyDeleteOh I wasn't meaning to suggest that it's enough to exchange resumes -- would that it were so easy!
ReplyDeleteI was just making light that while love is not subject to a mathematical equation, just trudging through the numbers is the only way: one just has to make the attempt and meet people. I've never used Collarme -- looked at it but it seemed implausible.
Again, yes and now. We are too inclined to dismiss people because we have a seemingly endless list of possibilities. We think there always another go when the last one wasn't the exact shape that fit the puzzle. But the honest truth is there's no exact shape. Focus more on chemistry.
DeleteChemistry is all I do. :)
DeleteUnfortunately one can't do it on line.