How and Why Guys Compartmentalize

I found this on website.  The rest of the site is pointless but this particular bit is worth a read.  I think it explains a lot.

"You've probably noticed how men are eager to put difficult situations behind them and 'moving on'.

From your perspective it may look like he just doesn't want to deal with negativity...and that would be a pretty accurate read of the situation.

Men's ability to do this is called compartmentalization.

Compartmentalization refers to an ability to divide something up into segments or parts as a way to keep from feeling overwhelmed by all the stress in our lives.

Because men have little training when it comes to their emotional world,men have perfected the art of segmenting or compartmentalizing their difficult feelings away from their awareness in order to deal with their immediate survival needs...

one chunk at a time.

This is very valuable when it comes to making decisions that need to be made from a rational, logical perspective.

When it comes to survival, this is a very useful skill set and defines to a large degree one of men’s better talents.

It can of course also become a liability when it comes to having a guy define his feeling state at any particular moment, in that...

accessing the compartmentalized feelings that are necessary for him to make an emotional connection with his wife or girlfriend can be a very difficult thing to do.

Because we as men don't stay aware of these separated feelings, we tend to think (and hope) that they don't exist...

and so we minimize whatever it is we do feel–-especially when it comes to anger, sadness, fear, and shame.

It’s not that these feelings don’t occur.

They are there for every human guy, even if it is difficult for him to identify them in the moment.

But what needs to happen is for him to have the desire to contribute his part of the emotional connection to the relationship.

Again, when it comes to giving relationship advice for women, the best thing to remember is that...

when your man is 'in his cave', or quiet and unresponsive, or unwilling to talk about the tough issues you both are facing...

it means he is compartmentalizing as a way to protect himself from feeling something emotionally vulnerable."

Why did I post this?  Because I hear a lot from the men in the bdsm community that they want a woman to want them but not need them.  This is utter horse shit and the above appears to be why.  They don't want to get hurt so they think if they just get their fantasies fulfilled that's enough to complete them. WRONG, dumbass.