I've had numerous conversations with a random sample of "man's man type" guys, even subs, and they all give a whole-hearted and resounding: Yes! Which I find particularly amusing because I know at least one woman that steadfastly wants to believe that I'm just being cynical to think this about men... and in fact, gave me a verbal thrashing for it. I worry about her. I fear her innocence is what is getting her hurt over and again.
And when I find one or two that say that isn't their major focus they try to get their jollies in even creepier and more subtle ways, like the last roommate that had to point out that he enjoyed when I accidentally brushed by his mid-section. [For the record: I don't know what response you expected from me... but it certainly was not going to be: Oh baby, do me now! I just saw it as creepy that you had to tell me. Some things are best left unsaid.]
Another, my ex, said he wanted a relationship. I'm not sure he knew what that even meant. From what he showed me, he hasn't a clue what that entails. It seems to me that he was only really looking for a female that he could tolerate long enough between episodes of plowing him in the ass. He said he wanted companionship... but what did he mean by that really? Enjoy doing stuff he likes? Watching guy films/shitty sitcoms with him? Not only is that not my idea of good time, I find it very un-sub-like for him to expect ME to conform to his pastimes. [Look pal, being sub in my world means you conform to my likes... and it isn't contingent on whether I plug you in the butt. It's contingent on whether you qualify to be my partner, not I your partner.]
I'd say every man I dated was definitely waiting, hoping, and counting the minutes until I put out, some certainly more overt than others. I don't know if it was because the power is entirely in a woman's hand on that issue or if men really are that horny. Or both? While some consider that a power over men I'd say it's weak at best. I don't feel more powerful for having denied a partner orgasm. I feel more powerful when he still wants me after having gotten the sex. I feel even more powerful once we settle into the relationship. It's love that gives me power, not metering out sex.
I think sex denial is a refusal of a type of closeness/ intimacy. I don't think that is healthy for a relationship. If the orgasm endorphin (oxytocin) is what is released after a woman gives birth to improve the bonding of mother and child, certainly post-orgasmic cuddling is important for the bonding of a couple. If either partner refuses this, it is detrimental to the maintenance of the relationship (including men that just fall asleep after orgasm or get up right away to leave).
