The Relationship EZ-Pass

I can't stress enough how much it bothers me that *some* sub men think that if they go into kink that that means they can bypass everything they normally have to do in a relationship and go straight to the sex/kink combo.  What is this about?

I can't speak for other Domme women, only myself, but I find this really irritating.  Just because I joined X site and have some unusual tastes in the bedroom does not mean that I am any less a woman in any other area of my life.  I'm not some pr0n Domme that will only interact with a guy when I want to do kink-related stuff.  I still have normal emotional needs and I expect my partner to listen, care, and tend to those.  I, foolishly, would think a sub man should want to care even more than a vanilla man because he's claiming to worship this woman that is his Domme.  Apparently not.

Perhaps it's not a conscious choice.  Perhaps the men in the kink realm are just more dysfunctional than vanilla men and their expectations are "different" because they can't function in a normal vanilla relationship anyway?  This seems entirely possible.  Or perhaps they are just like the guy above in the cartoon plus mask, collar, and cuffs?  Far more likely.

This leads me to an important question:  what is worship from the sub perspective?  In many cases, it seems to me that sub men have a very different idea about what that is than I do.  I see all these profiles of guys saying "I don't want anything but to serve." and "I have no needs but to serve my Goddess."  I think there's a disconnect here.  It seems to me that it is men who have set the expectations for what a woman is supposed to have as a "Goddess" or most women in the kink realm are just as dysfunctional emotionally as the men are.

I don't really have an answer to this one.  I'm just musing on this peculiar phenomenon.  It's made for a very long 7 years with collarme, certainly.  This last ex seemed like he understood what caring for my needs would look like online but in person he just couldn't handle it.  He clearly had a disconnect between online and real life.  Once he couldn't just press a button to make me go away (ie. had complete power over the situation) he crumpled into fetal position and lashed out at me like a frightened child.

I, at least partially, blame the internets for this.  I also blame him for using work, internets, games, and anything else to avoid dealing with what is going on inside him.  He, and many others, seem to think that relationships are where two people live parallel lives with each other and only intersect for brief companionship and sex/kink.  That is NOT love.