Model for the Spheres of Dominance. |
Public, represented by the brown sphere, is the realm of public social behavior. It includes legal and social treatment of both genders. Currently, one would say that in the United States currently male is still the dominant (in all spheres really). While laws have been changed to make things more equal there are continually forces that want to overturn them and socially men just still have the upper hand.
Private, represented by the blue sphere, is the realm of personal loving relationships. Again, most often men are assumed to be leader in the home although more and more women are stepping up the plate to change this. It's still a man's world and plenty of women, particularly religious ones, are eager to give up their rightful control in favor of lack of responsibility. Vile, frankly.
Bedroom, represented by the red sphere, is exactly what it sounds like. It's who is the aggressor in the bedroom. This is very much a toss up. Plenty of people who are dominant in their public life choose to let go of that in the bedroom and play the opposite role. Plenty are the same in every sphere. It depends. It's, of course, traditional for the man to take the lead in this arena but plenty of guys today like an aggressive woman, bdsm or not.
Now for me, I'm interested in the private sphere primarily, even and above the bedroom sphere. While yes I am aggressive in the bedroom it and would prefer both spheres to be in charge of, not having the bedroom would not affect my behavior in the private sphere.... they are completely separate in my opinion.
So ideally, the yellow line represents what I control versus the matriarchy femdom types, represented by the green line, that seek to impose female leadership in every sphere or the bedroom only types that are merely kinksters, sensation players, etc.
Further, I'd like to add here that while I intend to lead my home I do not have an agenda to turn all spheres into matriarchy nor do I seek to make all households look like my ideal. I firmly believe that my dominance is part of my nature and that everyone's nature is their own to figure out: self-determination. I do no intend to advocate imposing my beliefs or what's right for me on others. I think that's a foolhardy endeavor.
That said, in all situations where I have seen female led households they have functioned better and the relationship has lasted longer and with more happiness... but my sample size is small. :)
Lastly, it is my opinion that the world would function a lot better if the genders were equally represented in the government. I believe that men have made a giant mess just like they do in a home when left to their own devices.... Women are far under-represented and I do believe that in an equal society we'd be far more functional as a species.
Wow. Great post. Of course I'm an engineer and I like to break things down into manageable pieces to help clarify my understanding.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Anon. I'm glad it was useful.
ReplyDeleteCursiously I am an engineer too... and I think that it is a great post too.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of wage scales, female representation, and the things you mentioned regarding social gender equality, I'll give you an interesting perspective from Ottawa Ontario. This city is a big government town, and has a certain affluence as a result.
ReplyDeleteA number of years back, the schools essentially stopped hiring male teachers almost entirely. This led to the high schools in particular eventually showing better results for female students. That in turn led to a disproportionate amount of university applicants and graduates being female.
The end result, is like anywhere else in north america, the baby boomers are retiring. To replace them, will be a class of educated career women. Already, I see in relationships in this town, its common to see the woman working for the government, making more than her man, who may be working for some private company, or a blue collar labour job.
At least here, the pendulum is swinging the other way, and fast. I don't make a value judgment on this, other than suggesting that having seen how it goes, its unlikely to get true equality. to strive for it is fine and dandy, but its like walking a titerope. eventually, it errs to one side or the other.
I am a male dominant, working in private business in Ottawa.
Perhaps if the pendulum swings the other way there will be more female subs for you to choose from.... This may work out to your benefit.
DeleteAnon, I'd be interested in reading this study. It seems to me that the study is false. Prior the modern age women were the elementary school teachers and men the university professors. Personally, I believe women are just flourishing and men are struggling to adjust. Women are not suffering from the same difficulty in redefining femininity as men are struggling with masculinity. Women happen to be more capable than men in academics. I find it interesting that when women succeed people claim women must have been coddled more but if men succeed it must be because they were unfettered. I have to call bullshit when I see it. No one offered me more help in my education yet I have a master's degree. I didn't need women to show me role models. My mother was a housewife of the 1950's variety. I did this because I am capable on my own.
ReplyDeleteGreat and very informative Post. thank you
ReplyDeleteSam