While I don't think that D/s is or should be centered around sex, that does not at all mean that I am not sex positive or unadventurous. In my 35 years, I've done more than most people do in their whole lives.... and I did that before 30. I'm not repressed. I have no hidden desires. If I'm at all interested in trying something, I try it. It's just not a big deal.
Most of what I like in the kink realm is centered around ownership/vulnerabiliy. I liken my ownership interests to the Hindu signs of marriage on a woman. For those that are not familiar, there are items that a Hindu wife is supposed to wear depending on the region to show that she is taken. They often include some of the following: sindoor, mangalsutra, bangles, toe rings, and anklets. It doesn't matter if you don't know what a sindoor is. What matters is that I like my own version of signs that a man is mine.
This might include a chastity device while he is away from me, a jewelry style collar that can be worn all the times, a tattoo, and of course upon marriage a wedding band (Yes, I want to marry my sub.). To me, a wedding band by itself is far too easy to slip off. I want a man to want to feel possessed by me.
Beyond this, I like to be the primary aggressor in the bedroom. No, I don't expect him to lie there like a dead fish. I want active participation. I just want to be the one that throws him against the wall, holds his neck, and proceeds to play with an ear or a nipple. I want to smother him with my breasts or vulva. There's nothing sexier than a man coated in my juices.
I'm also okay with a bit of bondage. This ties (pun intended) back into the vulnerability that I seek emotionally. It doesn't work if the only time he can be vulnerable to me is when he is strapped to the bed. It has to be a physical component of an already vulnerable position.
I've done the strap-on thing. I was okay with it. There is a bit of a power high from it but doesn't get me off. I think this is one of those things that's better in the mind than in reality. I don't like this idea of "using" a man sexually. I get the psychology here but you are more likely to get that with another man than with a woman. We just don't have the equipment for that.
So yes, I have interest in *some* kink. It just isn't on the level of hermaphrodite hentai (ROTFL). Like any woman I want to be wanted, and in my case I want him to be willing to offer far more in devotion than a vanilla man would.
I have to be frank and say I don't think of a chastity lock as 'kink' but rather as a male management tool designed to command and control his arousal. Once locked on, erection is impossible and the end result is the collared male property is wholly dependent on his dominant partner for any kind of sexual arousal. I think this is, more than anything else, a necessary tool for a woman to bring her submissive under her control.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
john